"Snow,snow,snow..everywhere. It's X-mas time. I'm loving it"
screams the status-message of another Amriki friend on Facebook, while I stare outside my window. It's 8:30 in the, should I call it, evening and its an extra-bright sun smiling cunningly at me, reflecting from the kaanch-ki-building opposite my balcony. A fine bead of sweat appears over my eye-brow as I open another can of chilled coke.
Not quite the idea of a Christmas season in a firang-land, right?
Isn't Christmas supposed to be fur-lined jackets, snow-laden streets? How else is Santa supposed to drag his reindeer-sledge? Right? Right. But hey, not here, not in Australia. Not all the world is The Americas!!
Where did we get such time-settled notions about all things firang? Hollywood obviously.
Isn't Christmas the time when Bruce Willis kicks ass and gets rid of the bad guys, the time when the street-smart little guy in Home-alone series thrashes the crooks?
Hollywood has painted our visions of US in Technicolor so thick that it's so impossible to think of things any other way. Texas, for example, a place hot as hell all round the year, cowboys riding their horses, and an occasional corrupt cop/sheriff. LA's streets are all lined with hookers bending over from sidewalks into car windows. DC is where costliest jewels/artworks sit in museums waiting for the master thieves, and where CIA, FBI and Army chiefs turn in when rendered helpless. NY is where everyone is impeccably dressed, extremely busy and on their cellphones when on streets. Las Vegas is where there are more casinos than IGAs (Well, this could indeed be right though)
Coming back to my now-Amriki friends, I've had many such moments. That chirpy chick from college, now in NY, who won't stop telling how much fun it was the visit to Central Park after the recent snow; Or that nerdy first-bencher from school sharing his pics from recent trip to DC's museums; Or that wannabe-rockstar ex-colleague, now in Chicago on the wild Milwaukee music-fest experience; the list goes on. And I dare ask an innocent question like, "What's in DC to see?", and I invariably am bombarded with references to scenes from 'you’ve-seen-that-right?' movies; "That's where Forrest Gump proposed Jenny". Great. And which studio was Mankind's first trip to Moon, starring Neil Armstrong shot at? Oops!!
Though almost everything (my world of Everything is limited to music, TV shows, movies,..) here Down Under is eventually America borrowed, inspired or plainly copied, there are these American references and a total disregard to first-world civilization outside US, that baffle me.
“So, what did you do Christmas”
“Oh, there’s this beachtown around. Spent couple of days there”. And there are no movies I can tell that were shot there, OK
“Beach? For Christmas? Weird”
“No, not at all” because 1. Australia is an island, there are beaches everywhere and 2. “That’s where you go for summers, right”. Not all the Whites on the planet live in the US. Some moved down south too.
“Summers?”
“Yeah”. Helloooo!!! 6th std Geography, remember? Earth is divided into 2 hemispheres, Northeren and Southern, any success recalling that?
“Ohh ok”
“Interesting, isn’t it?” Sarcasm intended this time.
“Yeah. Ohh yeah, I saw about Australia in this movie………”
No, not again!!
P. S - "Californication" is a Red Hot Chilli Pepper's single from their 2000 album by the same name
screams the status-message of another Amriki friend on Facebook, while I stare outside my window. It's 8:30 in the, should I call it, evening and its an extra-bright sun smiling cunningly at me, reflecting from the kaanch-ki-building opposite my balcony. A fine bead of sweat appears over my eye-brow as I open another can of chilled coke.
Not quite the idea of a Christmas season in a firang-land, right?
Isn't Christmas supposed to be fur-lined jackets, snow-laden streets? How else is Santa supposed to drag his reindeer-sledge? Right? Right. But hey, not here, not in Australia. Not all the world is The Americas!!
Where did we get such time-settled notions about all things firang? Hollywood obviously.
Isn't Christmas the time when Bruce Willis kicks ass and gets rid of the bad guys, the time when the street-smart little guy in Home-alone series thrashes the crooks?
Hollywood has painted our visions of US in Technicolor so thick that it's so impossible to think of things any other way. Texas, for example, a place hot as hell all round the year, cowboys riding their horses, and an occasional corrupt cop/sheriff. LA's streets are all lined with hookers bending over from sidewalks into car windows. DC is where costliest jewels/artworks sit in museums waiting for the master thieves, and where CIA, FBI and Army chiefs turn in when rendered helpless. NY is where everyone is impeccably dressed, extremely busy and on their cellphones when on streets. Las Vegas is where there are more casinos than IGAs (Well, this could indeed be right though)
Coming back to my now-Amriki friends, I've had many such moments. That chirpy chick from college, now in NY, who won't stop telling how much fun it was the visit to Central Park after the recent snow; Or that nerdy first-bencher from school sharing his pics from recent trip to DC's museums; Or that wannabe-rockstar ex-colleague, now in Chicago on the wild Milwaukee music-fest experience; the list goes on. And I dare ask an innocent question like, "What's in DC to see?", and I invariably am bombarded with references to scenes from 'you’ve-seen-that-right?' movies; "That's where Forrest Gump proposed Jenny". Great. And which studio was Mankind's first trip to Moon, starring Neil Armstrong shot at? Oops!!
Though almost everything (my world of Everything is limited to music, TV shows, movies,..) here Down Under is eventually America borrowed, inspired or plainly copied, there are these American references and a total disregard to first-world civilization outside US, that baffle me.
“So, what did you do Christmas”
“Oh, there’s this beachtown around. Spent couple of days there”. And there are no movies I can tell that were shot there, OK
“Beach? For Christmas? Weird”
“No, not at all” because 1. Australia is an island, there are beaches everywhere and 2. “That’s where you go for summers, right”. Not all the Whites on the planet live in the US. Some moved down south too.
“Summers?”
“Yeah”. Helloooo!!! 6th std Geography, remember? Earth is divided into 2 hemispheres, Northeren and Southern, any success recalling that?
“Ohh ok”
“Interesting, isn’t it?” Sarcasm intended this time.
“Yeah. Ohh yeah, I saw about Australia in this movie………”
No, not again!!
P. S - "Californication" is a Red Hot Chilli Pepper's single from their 2000 album by the same name
8 comments:
Sudhrja SooYASH !
Very true! Nicely written Suyash.
Well luvd this 1 alot..evn d title cudnt have been better!!!btw,were u actually opened a can of coke or beer? :)
@NeeraZ - Ab is umr mein kya sudharna!! "Aur waise bhi perfection ko improve nahi kiya ja sakta" :P
@Anuradha - Thanks. Well, I've some emotions for British comedies as well. May be you could approve/correct them :)
@Believer - If you know me well enough, your guess is as good as mine :)
super duper like :)
Thanks Parnika :)
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